We are so impressed by Nicole and her team. So impressed.  She is still a quiet, silent angel. But here’s what she does these days:  Can eat ice cream, cream of wheat, drink from a straw, juice, milk.  Its the speach therapists’ job to get her to talk, so he brings these things in, and will tell her to tell him which one she wants, if she doesn’t then he’ll say well “How bout pointing to the one you want?” So that’ll usually work, one day she reached over and took the carton of milk and drank it down when he was asking her to say which one she wanted! That was kinda funny. She is guided by her therapists each morning to dress and clean up like we do, She helps them help her, she cannot do these things herself..yet. She has 4 therapys per day with 1-2 therapists at each session. They are wonderful and mean business. They kick everyone out, they’re not shy!  Then demand rest for her between each session, It’s all about Nicole, Yes it is. Family is fine with that. They are right, as soon as a session is over they put her in bed and her eye’s close instantly, she is very tired afterward. We have been told by one’s that have done it that the word is EXAUSTED. One gal told us she remembers not even being able to hold up a book to look at. So yes..we let Nicole rest. We are in better days, we’ll take that, Time it takes, don’t care. Our daughter is coming around. Thank u all for the love and prayers, still need em. Thank u. Kolpacks

Lots goin on! Nicole tolerated the move like it was nothin. She is semi consious, in and out. But that doesn’t mean her memory is there at all, or hit and miss, no one knows, she’s the one that can say. The morning of the move I knew was a consious time and that she needed to be told what was going to happen. So I bend over her and made everyone wait. I told her that we had to move her to a nice place in SF that would help her like P.E. classes and get her strong again. That we had to put her in an ambulance and it was a good ambulance ride, not a bad ambulance ride. That me and Daddy will be driving behind the ambulance with her stuff and we will be there at the new P.E. place when she gets there. After they got her in her new room, and we put all her stuff away I went to her to see how she was, seemed consious. So I asked her if she was ok, she gave me the tiny yes nod. I told her she’d been in a wreck, that she’d been sleeping 52 days and that the people here were special hospital rehab doctors that were ready to help her get well now that she’s starting to wake up. One tear ran down her face. And mine. She is like in a cocoon. Can’t break out all the way. Love from mom and dad make her feel better though….Then 5 days later….She has a bandaid on her neck where tubes used to be. She breaths like us! Can smell. She can talk too, but doesn’t know it yet. She no longer has a neck brace collar. So she’s lookin just like anybody else. She’s regular looking. They put t-shirts and shorts on her. They can get her up to use a walker, it takes 2 people with her of course, but from 52 days in bed to 8-10 steps is huge, Huge, HUGE!!! They are slow steps, if they say right foot, she moves right foot. Left, left. They tell her the first 2 steps then she does the rest. Once when we were gone, we had them bring her a phone and when the nurse put it toward her head, she reached for it, brought it to her ear and listened to us talk to her, nurse said she was nodding her tiny little nods, yes, um hum, yes….so miss Nicole is slowly making her journey back to us, in time maybe she’ll be able to tell us what she remembers. Some people have told us they didn’t remember 2-3mos in rehab until they got home, others have said they have in and out’s at rehab. So we’ll see. It’s cool to see her coming around though. Very cool. Her dad asked her for a hug, said he hadn’t gotten one from her in a long time. Her left arm reached all the way around his back, I snuck the right one up, then it was ok…and I watched her rub his back, didn’t have to ask him later about that, already knew what it did for him. God has heard you, please keep it up..and Thank you from the bottom of my mending heart.

We need to rent a bedroom and bath for the next handfull of months in SF. For myself, my husband and my mom, so that we can be with Nicole. We’ll leave it cleaner than we find it, have good refs. would appreciate your help/networking, call 209-743-5025. please.

DAY 49 Its late. I’m on the couch with my laptop on, I look alot now like how I started this day. I have wet, towel dried hair that looks like a spider web. the TV’s on.. mute. When we got up this morning Glenn asked me, “Are we going to San Francisco today?” We both were so exausted we couldn’t bear the idea of taking a 3 hr drive to another rehab center tour that’s usually about 2 hrs long. Then having to drive the 3 hrs back home, and that would mean not seeing our daughter today aswell. Everything is so exausting. I said “well it’s just that everyday that passes without Nicole in a rehab center is another day lost of her opportunity window” He said “Exactly” I walked into my bathroom, put on some already worn clothes from the floor, brushed my teeth, looked at myself in the mirror with a brush in my hand, and stopped. Who gives a crap if my hair is comed, I put down the brush walked out and told him I was ready. This is lousy. The only nice feeling I had is that a member of our family is with Nicole when we aren’t. Today it happened to be my sister Deena. My mom and everybody else would be at the yard sale/fundraiser for Nicole’s expenses and care. Maybe i’ll never get to care for her at home. Maybe is getting to be more of a reality everyday damb day. Looking out the window as we were on our way down there I was thinking of all the times i’d been to San Francisco just to go and have fun. There had been quite a few of those times. A couple of weeks after this happened when me and Glenn were going over all the different ways this journey could take us…and Nicole on, he told me that after his son died in that car accident, there was something in him that was never all the way quite happy again, and for me to prepare myself for that. To never be all the way quite happy again. I had already found that empty void inside me on my own. So we get to the Rehab center go on the tour, really like what we see and hear. My phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore it….Glenns phone vibrated in my other pocket, I ignore it. My phone vibrates again. I pull it out and see DEENA on my phone. I bust out and interupt the lady talking nonstop…while i’m dialing my sister..”I’m sorry, my sister is calling both phones….there must be an emergency.” (God please don’t let it get any worse.) I put in on speaker…”Deena. What’s wrong?” “Nicole was looking at me differently, I said sweetie it’s auntie….pause…can you see me? and she shook her head yes!” Me, glenn and the lady all busted out crying….Deena: “Then I said, honey if you can hear me, squeeze my hand…and Bonnie she did.”

It took us over 2 hrs to get to our daughter, they’d given her a xanex because she’d had an overabundance of stuff go on by the time we got there, so she was starting to get real tired. But here’s what she does…the shake head nods are very, very slight..like 1/2 inch up and 1/2 inch down, 1 or 2 times in a row. The squeeze hands..are ever so slight. But it’s all cognitive and responsive AND REAL…just before we left Nicole’s room tonight Deena said “Nicole, do you love your daddy?”…and she shook her head..yes.

I just looked over at Glenn on the couch, I can barely see him it’s so dark, he has slept with Nicole’s leopard print pillow off her bed since May 1st., 49 days. He’s hugging on it…and snooring pretty deep. I get the hot pink satin pillow..it’s right here next to me. I’m gonna go do the same thing…i’ll wait till morning to tell him Happy Father’s Day.